Wednesday, January 08, 2014


It is always hard to know what to say to someone who has lost someone close to them.  Most people avoid saying anything leaving the grieving person feeling abandoned.  In reality, considering what some folks say thinking they are helping, maybe the person is better off feeling abandoned.  There has been much written on the subject of grief and the grieving process; so this blog entry is not about trying to cover those subjects.  Here I want to offer a couple of suggestions about what to say to the person who has lost a loved one or someone they knew well.

1) Tell them how much you love them.  Don't say it if you haven't had a relationship with them that makes it believable. The person needs to know that there is still someone in the world that deeply cares for them.

2) Talk to them about the person who has died and most important let them talk about the person.  If you don't know much about the person who died then ask questions.  Don't assume as lots of folks do that the person does not want to talk about the person who has died.

3) Ask what you can do.  I mean ask about practical things you might be able to do.

4) Don't tell them it will get better with time because you don't know when or if it will get better.  Simply assure them of your love and support.

Just an add on note.  Most of the above applies to being supportive of someone who has an important person in their life who is seriously ill.  You can't assure them the person will get well.  You can only assure them of your love and support.

All the the above can be improved if you can also add the element of Faith. To have a conviction that the Creator is alive and well is certainly soothing at a time of need.  We might need to think about the following verses.

Matthew 13:16-17

New King James Version (NKJV)
16 But blessed are your eyes for they see, and your ears for they hear; 17 for assuredly, I say to you that many prophets and righteous men desired to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.

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