Thursday, July 17, 2014


Color Spectrum Of The Mind by Meggie LaFey

I am tired of my lived experience being dismissed as some social or spiritual problem that I could overcome if only I were willing to pick a program from the smorgasbord designed by mental health professionals or by folks who have had or still do have psychiatric labels who have gone into the business of providing services.   
Recovery seems to be defined by a measuring stick I can never reach.  They talk about how person-centered they are and their services are, but their yardstick is one they manufactured for their own purposes.  Who would want to buy anything measured by a yardstick someone else got to say how many inches was on the yardstick?   

I don't remember when I first got a copy of this book and read it (it was first published on January 1, 1984),but it answered all my questions.  That was then.  Since then, I have come up with a million more.  I know I believe there is a biological component to my bipolar disorder.  As I have stated many times I think we are bio-psycho-social-spiritual (eternal soul could be inserted for spiritual)  beings, but I have no clear idea how much each part plays in my bipolar disorder and the truth is not a damn soul on this planet does either no matter what they may say.

That means I am left to figure this out by myself.  Me and my group who were formed when I was sexually abused as a child.  When you add DID to Bipolar, you get a real mix.  Someone in this body is always wanting to die while someone else is wanting a sexual adventure while someone else is wanting to take a world tour.  

This is not about poor me.  This is about don't try to sell people with a psychiatric label on a cookie cutter yardstick with a time limit on services and a destination you decided was what would be in our best interest .  People with lived experience deserve better.  We deserve more than a good definition of what providers are suppose to do.  We deserve respect and results.  Not just great words on paper. 

I am not a fool anymore.

© Ed Cooper, July 17, 2014, Stoney Creek, Tennessee    

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