Thursday, September 18, 2014


Patty is my wife, my friend, my traveling companion and my therapist.

Some people will tell you that they want their friends to tell it to them straight. Well, I want a friend that will slant things in my favor sometimes so I can feel better about myself.  I don’t always want to hear the hard truth.  I need someone who will put a soft warm spin on reality for me.  Patty does that for me.  It is not that she will not confront me with the truth at times, but she seems to know when it is not the truth that matters but rather my feelings that matter most.

Some therapies are designed to help a person come to terms with the collective reality of society.  The objective seems to be to help a person function better by making them a clone of everyone else. Patty has worked as a social worker, but since she is my wife she is not bound by any code of ethics from being my friend.  One type of therapy among many that she allows me to use is to rewrite my own story using the truth as I know it not as anyone else thinks it is.  Can you imagine how liberating it is to write your own story the way you see yourself without other people putting labels on all your behaviors?

Yes, playing all the different roles is a big task.  She was asked once at a Veterans Clinic by a social worker why she wanted to be with a person like me.  I ask myself the same question.  The answer is simpler than you may imagine yet far more complicated than people think.  She wants to be with me because she loves me.  Love is a prison with unlocked doors from which one doesn’t want to escape.  She cannot escape so she has learned to make her environment as pleasant as possible by helping me to be as much of a person as I can be.

Patty the person builder is not just words.  She has helped me become more adjusted to a world I am ill equipped to live in.  I think more couples should look at their relationships and see what they can do for each other rather than looking for what they can take from each other.  If you are wondering what Patty gets, you will have to ask her.

© Ed Cooper, September 18, 2014, Stoney Creek, Tennessee

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