Friday, November 13, 2015



Yesterday I got caught up in a discussion/disagreement over whether or not there is an element of selfishness to the act of suicide.  Leaving that discussion behind us, let us try to think about what a person-centered approach to helping someone who is in such darkness that they see no light ahead or way out.  I am going to try and explain what I would want and what I would not want.

First, under no circumstances would I want to be locked away again behind doors that others control.  It has happened to me too many times in my life and I have never seen any value come out of any of those times.

Second, I do not want folks with the fix-it syndrome making false promises to me that they cannot keep or never intend to keep just to keep me going on living so they can say they prevented a suicide.

What do I need?

I need a safe place to be where people treat me as a person.  Meaning they do not lock the doors or take my clothes. They engage me from a perspective of respect as a fellow human being.  I can feel their empathy.  They help me find a reason to live more than simply it is their job to keep me living.  They help me find my own individual reason to fight the darkness and they fight it with me by developing a therapeutic relationship as defined by Carl Rogers years ago.

That means they see me and allow themselves to be seen.  

Why is this subject so important to me?  Because I am becoming of the age when males become the most likely to finish the deal.  More Veterans my age kill themselves than any other age group.  I have a right to want to get it right. I have a right to want the Veterans Administration to bring their services into this century and actually begin to serve so we can survive.

© Ed Cooper, 11/13/2015
    All rights reserved    
For further study on this subject you can go here

University of Manchester Doctoral Paper (231 page PDF)

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