Wednesday, July 13, 2016


When Janet, my wife’s only sibling, shot and killed herself the evening before Memorial Day 2016, my entire world was turned into something I cannot describe with words even if I used an entire book much less do so on this blog.  Not only have I had the eruptions in my mind, body and soul to deal with, but I have had to watch and share the tortured pain of my wife, her mother and the rest of her family.  

This is not a poor Ed piece.  In fact, I am not asking you the reader to do anything other than think about a couple of issues.  They have occurred to me as the days have gone slowly by.  Really, they are questions.

  1. Why do people say they will pray for you when God already knows what the hell is going on and will do whatever is God’s will whether you pray for me or not?
  2. Why do people get so mad at me when I say suicide is a self-centered selfish act?  Do they think the people left behind are glad the person is gone?  What is not self-centered about suicide?
  3. Where is a person with major psychiatric labels suppose to go to talk about their real feelings following a suicide of a family member, a friend or someone they knew?  If I go anywhere and say anything real the result will be that they will lock me up on a psychiatric unit and I will not be free until I stop telling the truth.

It will never be the same again.  At one time I was Janet’s pastor and I failed her.  At one time I was Janet’s friend and I failed her.  At one time I was Janet’s brother-in-law and I failed her.  At one time I was Janet’s landlord and I failed her.  Janet Gail Franklin and I are in many ways alike.  Yes I said are.  She lives on even though I failed her I do not believe God failed her.  I believe in the end Jesus found His lost sheep.

© Ed Cooper, July 13, 2016, Stoney Creek, Tennessee, Appalachia

   All rights reserved

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